Knowing how to handle a difficult coworker is crucial to minimizing stress, increasing productivity, and maintaining positive relationships at work.
Given that we spend much of our time at work, we collaborate with different types of colleagues daily. Some will push our buttons and be more difficult than others—that’s completely normal! Recognizing certain behaviors and learning how to react to them is key to remaining productive and satisfied at your job.
In this article, we’ll explore how to deal with a difficult coworker based on their type. Then, we’ll provide five practical tips to cope with their behavior effectively. Lastly, we’ll help you understand when the right time to escalate a situation with a difficult coworker is and the risks involved in the process. Let’s get started!
Key Takeaways
- Learning how to handle a difficult coworker will help you avoid many stressful situations and focus on achieving your goals.
- The best way to handle a difficult colleague of any type is by setting boundaries, showing empathy, and openly communicating the issues.
- Escalate a situation with a difficult coworker only after assessing the severity of the circumstance and ensuring you have all the documentation in place.
- Avoid sharing personal information at the workplace, as it can encourage difficult coworkers to use it against you.
6 Types of Difficult Coworkers and How to Deal With Them
Every workplace has its share of challenges, and difficult coworkers often top the list. Whether it’s someone who’s incredibly jealous, negative, gossipy, or super competitive—these coworkers can make your life incredibly unpleasant in the office. You can’t exactly control their behavior, but you can certainly learn how to handle toxic coworkers and have your own peace of mind.
Let’s look at the six most common types of difficult coworkers and learn how to handle them:
#1. The Micromanager
Who they are:
You’ll typically see the micromanaging coworker lurking behind you every fifteen minutes, monitoring your work and checking if you’re doing it correctly. They can be control freaks who want things done their way and will stop at nothing to make it happen.
Why the behavior is problematic:
The behavior of a micromanaging coworker is problematic because they’re not your boss. Often, they’re in the same position as you. This can make you feel inferior and lead you to question your skills. In the worst-case scenario, you’ll start believing that your work isn’t good enough.
Real-life example:
Peter is an employee at Starbucks, and it’s his first role in customer service. While he’s confident in his daily responsibilities, his coworker Jane frequently reminds him of protocols he’s already familiar with.
For example, she gets in the way of making orders or rearranges the drinks Peter has already put out for customers. This micromanaging behavior leaves Peter feeling so demotivated and anxious that he even starts to resent showing up for work the next day.
How to handle them:
One of the best ways to handle a micromanaging coworker is by saying something like: “Thanks for the feedback, but I’m happy with how I’ve handled this. We can leave the performance concerns for our manager.” If the coworker persists, you can take the issue to your supervisor.
#2. The Passive Aggressive One
Who they are:
When you have a passive-aggressive coworker, you can never know what they’re truly thinking, as they’re using indirect methods to express their thoughts and feelings. For example, they make sarcastic comments, use bitter humor, and even try to play the victim.
Why the behavior is problematic:
This behavior is problematic because it creates tension and stress in the workplace. Being in an office all day with someone whose intentions are never clear can be very uncomfortable. For some, it can even cause mental health issues, which disrupt their productivity and general well-being.
Real-life example:
John, a software engineer in the TV industry, usually passes through Philip’s office to reach his own. Despite knowing it’s the fastest route, Phillip sarcastically comments, “Hey, is something wrong?” or “Did you forget something over here?” There’s never been a real confrontation, leaving John to second-guess his actions.
How to handle them:
Passive-aggressive coworkers typically struggle with issues like low self-esteem or fear of conflict. So, how to handle a difficult coworker like this? The best approach is to show off your interpersonal skills and be kind to them. Show that you want to improve the relationship by having an open conversation. Ask what causes them to act the way they do and offer advice to help them.
Pro tip: Avoid labeling their behavior as passive-aggressive and listen to what they’re trying to communicate. If they can’t open up, seek support from your team.
=#3. The Pessimist
Who they are:
The pessimist is someone who always anticipates bad news and leans toward the negatives in every situation. They complain regularly, push new ideas away, or criticize projects and plans without providing a constructive way out.
Why the behavior is problematic:
Persistent pessimism causes a very negative work environment, which reduces morale and productivity. This behavior can deter others from sharing ideas or working as a team, leading to less innovation and damaging workplace relationships.
Real-life example:
Working as a data entry specialist, Amy constantly complains about the workload, saying things like, “There’s no way we’re going to finish this in time,” before even starting the task. She also oftentimes begins to spiral into thoughts of being fired for not completing the task.
How to handle them:
Mastering how to handle a difficult coworker who thrives on negativity comes down to three aspects. First, setting boundaries—if you feel like they’re going overboard with the negative talk, switch the subject to something lighter.
Second, ignore their pessimism and keep your distance by not engaging in conversation. Lastly, if the coworker’s negativity directly impacts your ability to work, take the conversation to the manager or HR.
#4. The Gossiper
Who they are:
The gossiper is an individual who thrives when talking behind people’s backs, often sharing false information about the coworker’s private or professional lives. The reason behind this behavior might be because they truly enjoy it, feel insecure, or simply seek attention.
Why the behavior is problematic:
The behavior of a gossiper is problematic because it’s energy-draining, distracting, and can harm team dynamics. It takes away the focus from work that truly matters and can directly impact your professional reputation if you incidentally get involved in the drama.
Real-life example:
Brandon was at an office party when he approached a coworker to share a rumor about another person’s potential promotion. This was a piece of very unexpected and unfair information for the coworker, yet he continued to spread it across his team. The result was unnecessary drama and confusion—only for the rumor to be proven false at the end.
How to handle them:
Learning how to handle a difficult coworker who’s always gossiping involves setting healthy boundaries. You can’t stop other people from tattling, but what you can do is not participate in such conversations.
If the gossip is about another coworker, you can say something along the lines of: “I think Mary is doing her job well and is always positive—I’ve never had any issues with her,” and try to change the subject politely.
#5. The Know-it-All
Who they are:
The know-it-all is a coworker who sees themselves as an expert on every topic despite lacking domain expertise. Often, their ego gets the most of them—they easily get involved in arguments with coworkers, trying to prove their point and be the center of attention. Confidence is their second nature, as they never seem to doubt themselves.
Why the behavior is problematic:
The behavior of a know-it-all is problematic because they want to appear to be above others and can’t handle criticism. Their decisions are often based on their personal beliefs without reasonably looking at the facts or circumstances. Engaging in an argument with an arrogant individual like this can lead to frustration and exhaustion due to their lack of rational thinking.
Real-life example:
Sandy works as a business analyst and acts like she’s overqualified for the job. Whenever she’s in a meeting, she talks the most and doesn’t leave space for anyone else. Even in situations when she’s not a subject matter expert, she takes the spotlight and tries to leave the impression that she’s very knowledgeable on the topic.
What’s worse, she never shies away from criticizing others’ work even though she doesn’t understand it.
How to handle them:
To handle a “know-it-all” coworker, you need to establish polite yet firm boundaries by saying, “Thanks for your input, but I got this covered.” or “I’ll ask for help if I need it.” If unsolicited advice starts to come up, redirect the conversation by signaling that you’re focused on work or changing the subject to something neutral and unrelated.
If the behavior continues, have a private, respectful conversation where you’ll explain how their actions make you feel.
#6. The Credit Taker
Who they are:
The credit taker is a type of difficult coworker who takes hold of your ideas, projects, or efforts and claims them as their own. Credit takers can come in many forms. This might be someone who asks for help but overlooks your contribution or someone who takes full ownership of the teamwork despite playing a minor role.
Why the behavior is problematic:
Being a credit taker is problematic because it causes resentment among colleagues. With time, this can create a lack of collaboration, decrease morale, and even hinder the career of those who feel their contribution goes unnoticed.
Real-life example:
Stephanie and Jamie are assigned to brainstorm ideas for the company’s new product page. They start discussing the ideas over a meeting, and Jamie shares one that Stephanie really likes. She even praises him for his creativity!
Then, it’s time to present the idea to the manager. Stephanie steps up and claims the idea as her own, taking full credit for Jamie’s contribution.
How to handle them:
There are a few ways to handle this type of difficult coworker. The first is to assume they had good intentions and subconsciously stole your idea or took credit for your work. You can approach them privately and say, “I noticed you took ownership of my work, but I’d appreciate it if you’d acknowledge my contribution to it.”
If they share your idea during a standup, don’t suffer in silence. Remain calm but assertive and say, “[Coworker]] already covered the basics of what I worked on. I created the [idea], and you can see all the details of my documented work.”
5 Tips for Dealing With Difficult Coworkers
You shouldn’t just walk away and hope for the best when dealing with difficult coworkers. Because you interact with them regularly, finding ways to cope with the unwanted behavior is essential.
With that being said, here are five practical tips on how to handle a difficult coworker:
#1. Set Healthy Boundaries
Setting healthy boundaries is key to maintaining your own well-being in the workplace. We often feel pressured to listen to other people’s complaints and problems. However, there should be a fine line between offering support and getting sucked into a negative emotional spiral.
So, when you start to feel suffocated by toxic coworkers, try not to react to impulses. Instead, create a distance, either physically or emotionally. Try changing your working desk location if there’s an opportunity for that. If not, gently steer conversations away from negative topics while maintaining a neutral tone.
Finally, make sure you’re assertive when it comes to saying “no.” This is especially useful when dealing with the “credit taker” type because they’ll often try to offload their responsibilities onto you.
#2. Be Empathetic
Recognize that everyone has personal struggles you may not know about. This is a crucial aspect of how to handle a difficult coworker without escalating the situation. Maybe they are going through a difficult time in their personal life that affects how they express themselves at work.
Although this does not justify any harmful behavior towards you, it can explain why they act a certain way and allow you to change your approach when interacting with them. Instead of feeling overwhelmed with frustration, you’d be coming from a place of compassion and even be able to offer useful advice.
#3. Know Your Worth
One of the most harmful impacts of dealing with toxic colleagues is loss of confidence. So, when debating how to handle a difficult coworker, remind yourself of your strengths and the value you bring to the company. Avoid comparing yourself to others and recognize that your sense of self-worth comes from within and not from external validation.
When other people see you as confident, they’re less likely to pour their negativity on you, as they’ll find a weaker target.
#4. Try the Grey Rock Technique
The grey rock technique is a communication strategy for disengaging from manipulative or emotionally draining interactions. When you’re thinking about how to handle a difficult coworker that undermines you, this technique should be the first thing you think of.
To put it into practice, simply remain unresponsive and neutral when a coworker is exhibiting toxic behavior. These people typically thrive on drama and seek a reaction, but when you respond calmly and professionally, they’ll lose interest. Focus on your bigger goals, and don’t let them derail you.
#5. Avoid Oversharing
Sharing personal information at the workplace isn’t always a smart move, as difficult coworkers may use it to harm you at a strategic point in time. For example, if they ask a seemingly innocent question like “How are you? You don’t look so good.”, their intent may be to extract information they will later use against you.
So, keep your answers very high-level with those individuals and build your own circle of trust with supportive and reliable colleagues.
When Should You Escalate a Situation With a Difficult Coworker?
Deciding when to escalate a situation with a difficult coworker is a serious step that comes with potential risks. Those include:
- Coming across as unprofessional and destroying your reputation
- Worsening the relationships you have with other colleagues
- Insufficient support from managers and HR due to a lack of evidence
So, you must be careful, as going through this process in the wrong way can backfire on you, especially if the colleague becomes increasingly difficult or you’re not well supported.
When the behaviors of your coworkers cross the line and affect your work (you start missing deadlines or taking on their responsibilities), it might be time to take the issue further. You should also escalate the issue if you’ve raised concerns previously and no action was taken or if they’re violating company policies with actions like harassment, gender inequality, discrimination, and racism.
When you decide to act, start by addressing the problem with your manager first. A good approach is to turn the discussion into one in which you seek advice on how to handle a difficult coworker or brainstorm solutions rather than a full-blown complaint about your colleague.
Instead of saying, “Karen is ruining my life,” try saying, “I’m struggling to do all my work because of Karen’s actions—do you have any advice?” This way, the conversation remains on an objective, solution-oriented level.
Remember to always document everything before escalating a situation with a difficult coworker. Note down specific incidents, dates, and witnesses. Use a notebook or app to keep track of the difficult coworker’s behavior, ensuring you have a clear and factual record to present if needed.
Final Thoughts
Dealing with a colleague you aren’t fond of can be challenging, especially when it starts interfering with your work satisfaction. Luckily, there are effective strategies on how to handle a difficult coworker that you can easily put into practice while remaining respectful and professional.
The most important thing to remember is that these individuals often have struggles of their own, so don’t take their behavior personally. Instead, take control by setting boundaries, showing empathy, staying confident, and keeping private information to yourself.
